Understanding EMDR: A Gentle Pathway to Healing Trauma

What Is EMDR Therapy?

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful psychotherapy approach that helps people heal from the emotional distress caused by traumatic experiences. First developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR has grown into one of the most respected and widely used methods for treating trauma, PTSD, anxiety, and other deeply rooted emotional issues.

But EMDR is not your traditional talk therapy. You don’t need to retell your story over and over or explain everything in words. Instead, EMDR works by helping your brain process painful memories in a new, healthier way—without needing to relive them in full detail.

To understand how EMDR works, imagine that your brain is like a filing cabinet. When life runs smoothly, your mind neatly stores away experiences in appropriate folders, where they can be looked back on calmly. But when something traumatic happens, the brain’s filing system gets overwhelmed. Instead of being stored properly, the memory gets stuck—raw and unprocessed—almost like a file left open on a desk, filled with alarming images, sounds, and emotions. EMDR helps you close that file and put it where it belongs.

Trauma Lives in the Body

Trauma isn’t just a memory—it’s a lived experience that can get trapped in the body and nervous system. As Dr Bessel van der Kolk famously writes in The Body Keeps the Score, traumatic events don’t always fade with time. They can continue to live in the body as tension, anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, or chronic disconnection.

Your body remembers what your mind tries to forget.

You may know, logically, that you’re safe now, but your body still reacts as if danger is just around the corner. EMDR works with the brain’s natural healing system to gently unlock and process these memories so that they no longer cause distress in the present.

Babette Rothschild, in her work on somatic trauma therapy, highlights that the body is often more honest than the mind. EMDR uses this principle. By engaging both mind and body through rhythmic eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation (such as tapping or sounds), EMDR helps you reprocess traumatic memories at a deep, embodied level.

What Happens in an EMDR Session?

EMDR follows a structured eight-phase approach, designed to build safety, process trauma, and restore emotional balance. While every therapist adapts their approach to suit the client, the typical journey looks like this:

1. History and Preparation

Your therapist will begin by learning about your past, current concerns, and what you want to work on. EMDR is not rushed. You’ll spend time building trust and learning self-soothing techniques so that you feel safe before touching on any painful memories.

2. Identifying the Target

Together, you’ll choose a “target memory” to work on—something from your past that still causes distress. This could be a single event (like a car accident) or something more complex, such as emotional neglect or long-term abuse.

3. Desensitisation Through Bilateral Stimulation

Here’s where the eye movements—or other left-right stimulation—come in. You’ll focus on the memory while your therapist guides your eyes side to side, or taps alternately on your hands, or plays sounds through headphones. This rhythmic activity mirrors the natural way the brain processes information during REM sleep.

Many people describe the experience as dreamlike. You’re awake and aware, but the memory begins to feel less charged—less like it’s happening now, and more like something that happened then.

4. Reprocessing the Memory

As you continue the process, your brain starts to untangle the memory. New insights can emerge. Feelings shift. What once felt terrifying may become neutral or even empowering. The memory itself doesn’t vanish—but its emotional grip loosens.

To use a metaphor: imagine that the trauma was once a storm, flooding your inner landscape. EMDR doesn’t erase the storm ever happened—but it builds you a shelter, drains the floodwaters, and lets the sun come back out.

5. Installing Positive Beliefs

Next, you’ll work with your therapist to strengthen positive beliefs about yourself. For instance, instead of “I am powerless,” you may begin to feel, “I am strong and in control.” These beliefs aren’t artificially imposed—they come from within, as part of your natural healing process.

6–8. Body Scan, Closure, and Re-evaluation

In the final phases, you’ll check in with your body to ensure all residual tension has been processed. Your therapist helps you return to a calm state after each session. You’ll also revisit progress regularly to track how you’re doing and adjust the work accordingly.

EMDR Is for More Than Just Big “T” Trauma

When people hear the word “trauma,” they often think of extreme events—war, accidents, violence. But EMDR is just as effective for what therapists call “small t” traumas—those quieter, more chronic emotional wounds that may not seem dramatic, but still leave a lasting impact.

These could include:

• Being bullied at school
• Growing up with a critical parent
• Feeling rejected, invisible, or not good enough
• Going through a messy breakup
• Losing a job, pet, or sense of identity

Dr Richard Schwartz, the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS), speaks about the “parts” of ourselves that carry pain from the past. EMDR works beautifully with this idea, helping those younger parts of us find relief and reintegration. Through EMDR, the “part” of you stuck in fear can finally relax, knowing that the present is safe.

Why EMDR Works

Although the exact mechanism behind EMDR is still being studied, the results are undeniable. Thousands of clinical trials and real-world applications show EMDR can dramatically reduce the symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, and even chronic pain.

Think of it like emotional composting. EMDR takes difficult, toxic experiences and breaks them down so they can become something fertile—wisdom, resilience, clarity. You’re not forced to forget. You simply remember in a new way, one that doesn’t hurt anymore.

Clients often report:

• Feeling “lighter” after sessions
• Reduced emotional reactions to triggers
• Better sleep
• Clearer thinking and fewer intrusive thoughts
• A sense of closure around events that used to feel unresolved

EMDR Is Not Hypnosis

A common myth is that EMDR puts you into a trance or changes your memories. This isn’t true. You remain fully awake, in control, and aware throughout. EMDR doesn’t erase memories—it helps your brain reprocess them, moving them from the emotional brain (the amygdala) to the rational brain (the prefrontal cortex), where they can be stored like ordinary memories.

How It Feels to Heal

Many people are surprised at how gentle EMDR feels. You don’t have to retell your trauma in graphic detail. The focus is internal—on what you’re noticing, feeling, remembering—and the therapist holds space for this with care and stability.

Some clients report an almost surreal feeling during the process, like watching their memory float away on a river. Others describe it as “untangling a knot in my chest” or “finally putting a full stop at the end of the sentence.”

It’s not always easy, and some sessions can stir things up. But a trained therapist will guide you safely, always checking in to make sure you’re grounded and supported.

Who Is EMDR For?

EMDR is suitable for many people, including those who:

• Have experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect
• Struggle with anxiety or panic
• Feel stuck in unhelpful patterns or emotional loops
• Have tried other therapies without lasting relief
• Experience somatic symptoms or unexplained pain

It’s often used with veterans, survivors of domestic abuse, those recovering from addiction, and people who’ve experienced medical trauma or childhood wounds.

A Note on Readiness

EMDR isn’t a quick fix, and it’s not suitable for everyone at every stage. If you’re in crisis or living in an unsafe situation, your therapist may suggest other support first. EMDR requires a certain level of emotional stability before diving into deep reprocessing.

That said, the preparatory phases of EMDR are therapeutic in their own right. Even before you begin the trauma work, you’ll learn skills for grounding, calming your body, and staying connected to the present moment.

A Therapist’s Role in EMDR

The EMDR therapist is more than a technician—they’re a compassionate guide. They don’t push or interpret. Instead, they create the conditions for your brain to do its own healing work. As Babette Rothschild writes, trauma recovery is about restoring choice and control. EMDR honours this beautifully.

Therapists trained in EMDR often undergo extensive certification and supervision. Many also integrate EMDR with other approaches such as Internal Family Systems, somatic therapies, or relational psychotherapy, depending on your needs.

Final Thoughts: Healing Is Possible

If trauma has shaped your life, you may feel like you’re carrying a weight that others can’t see. You may struggle to explain why certain things feel so overwhelming or why you react the way you do. That’s okay. You’re not broken—you’re carrying something that was too heavy to bear alone.

EMDR offers a way to set that burden down. It doesn’t erase your past, but it can free you from being ruled by it.

As Bessel van der Kolk says: “Trauma robs you of the feeling that you are in charge of yourself… The challenge of recovery is to reestablish ownership of your body and your mind—of your self.”

Through EMDR, that re-ownership becomes possible.

📚 Further Reading and Resources

Books

Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York, NY: Viking.
Rothschild, B. (2000). The body remembers: The psychophysiology of trauma and trauma treatment. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company.

Helpful YouTube Videos

Van der Kolk, B. A. (2015, October 6). Bessel van der Kolk: The body keeps the score [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53RX2ESIqsM
Rothschild, B. (2016, February 24). Babette Rothschild – Somatic trauma therapy and the body remembers [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aJi1YtL5oA
Schwartz, R. (2020, January 13). Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy explained by Dr. Richard Schwartz [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99e3CjR8bM4
EMDR International Association. (2021, May 10). What is EMDR therapy? [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKrfH43srg8